12 Things That Will Piss Off A Librarian!


Are you daring and stupid? Do you like to do things that are wrong? Just so you can get a rise out of it and bug someone else in the process? If the answer is yes, do read on, and learn about 12 things you can do to get the librarian hot under his or her collar. You can also, tick off, all those in the library as well. However, do be warned, if they crown you king or queen with a heavy book on your head. Don’t say you didn’t deserve it! That’s what you get for being baddie in the liberry!

12 sure-fire ways to aggravate the librarian and everyone else too!

12 things that will piss of a librarian are assured of doing their job. These are classic. Read and get edumacated. Spellings are wrong here, for humorous effect, provided they work and writer doesn’t get a revision request. LOL!

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  1. You should never draw any attention to yourself in a library – Are you an attention getter? If you are, the library is no place to try to get people to notice you, if anything they will ignore you and keep their noses buried deep in a book. Now, if you pass gas or take your shoes off to reveal cheesy toes, that may get their attention and stink them out at the same time. Just a suggestion!
  1. Never try to pick up the librarian for a hot night or whatever else – The library is not a place to try to get sexed up or heated up. Because if you make an unwanted pass at the librarian without any advanced warning. You may just get a Taser charge and free of charge!
  1. You should never use the library as your eating place – What this means is very easy. Just because the library is a public place, doesn’t mean it is your place, and a place where you can order a pizza and have it delivered to the main branch. The librarian will call the police right away. You, your pizza, and anything else that you brought with you will be eating crow in the pokie. If you love fast food, as well as, a fast way to go to jail. Then try to order some fast food out at the library.
  1. No pulling any unexpected pranks at the library – One of the biggest things that can get you in trouble with both the librarian and anyone at the library is this. Don’t try to do any practical jokes such as put fake doggie doo-doo on someone’s chair or some fake vomit on the librarian’s keyboard at her computer. This also, means no “kick me” sticky notes attached to people’s behinds as they get up from their chairs for what not.


  1. No loud talking, even if, it is to yourself – One thing that librarians or people in the library will not stand is loud talking of any kind. This means keep your mouth shut or the librarian may pull out some electrical tape and tape you shut for good. You will then be mumbling to yourself and thrown out on your ear.
  1. Never use public computers to become your own computer – Exactly what does this mean? It means that you should only do public things on the computers at the library. Never try to own a public library computer and make it your own. You cannot make reservations to use it, for as long as you like, nor can you write your name on the memory drive.
  1. Don’t try to make a library your own playground – A library is not a place for playing or making silly. Therefore, refrain from making paper airplanes, and tossing them at others to disrupt them from doing their studying or reading or whatever else. You should also avoid from blowing bubbles or playing musical chairs.
  1. Don’t ask the librarian to help you find 500 different book titles – The librarian is there to help all those who come to the library. But don’t get on her last nerve, by asking her, to help you find 500 different book titles. Your next of kin will have trouble locating you, after the librarian is done with you, which means she may file you away for good.
  1. No panhandling at the library allowed – Do you feel like you may need a little extra money? Well, never ask for handouts at a public library, at least not unless you tell people you want some money just to leave them alone. If you get on their nerves, as well as, the librarian’s good enough. They might pay you to leave them alone and leave them in peace.
  1. Don’t do your shopping at the library, go to the mall! – Just because a library does handle books. It doesn’t mean that you can do your book shopping there. Therefore, go to the mall, and don’t ask the librarian if you can buy a book repeatedly when you know you cannot. This will get on their nerves more than anything.
  1. Never take over the library’s PA System – A definite no no is this. Never try to take over the library’s PA System. The use of this system is just for the librarian and other library staff. Just say that you get over the microphone and tell people that aliens have just landed. You may scare people enough to wet their pants and run amok. Mass suicide would be your fault!
  1. Don’t have a book reading of the worst book – If you truly want to get thrown out of the library by the librarian herself or himself. Don’t attempt to have your very own book reading of the worst book ever written. You may get stoned by a ton of flying books aimed at your head and the librarian may gun for you with her precision staple gun.

The 12 things that will piss off a librarian are also, definitely assured, to get everyone at the library hating you or at least disliking your sorry butt a whole lot.


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